drives over %player
shreds %player with a chainsaw
steals %player's cookies. Mwahaha!
pushes %player into a crevasse
follows %player into a dark avenue. Hey test my crowbar!
persuades %player to eat the cyanide sandwich
sends some DDoS in %player's direction
slaps %player around a bit with a large trout
forgets %player in the desert. awww
is searching for %player + goatsex on yahoo. WEEE %random hits!
touches %player with a twenty-foot rusty halberd
burns %player's house down
throws a keyboard at %player
beautifies %player with some knuckle duster imprints
sends hordes of lemmings over %player
aims his LOIC at %player and fires
slaps %player around with a pink Macintosh
whips %player with a mouse cord
slaps %player around with nuclear waste
slaps %player with Ozzy Osbourne
sends the seven plagues of Egypt to %player
throws a playstation at %player
eats %player
slaps %player in the face and yells "I'm Rick James, bitch!"
slaps %player around with a Riemann rearrangement theorem
prepares %player to be shown on rotten.com
sneezes in %player's face
stabs %player in the face
smacks %player with a red Swingline stapler
slaps %player around a bit with a small Imperial-Class Stardestroyer
pokes %player with a stick
slaps %player around with a large trout
discovers %player's picture at uglypeople.com
slaps %player around with Windows Me
